When Love is in the House

Ok, so we just got back from our annual Spring Break pilgrimage to Florida.  Had a great time.  We have a lot of family there...David was born and raised there.  His Mom and sister live in Orlando's Moss Park.  His Dad and Step-Mom live in New Smyrna Beach as does his step-sister and her daughter.  My Grandpa lives in Riveria Beach and my Dad lives in Clearwater.  All the way there and just about all the way back we totally jammed to Toby Mac's "Alive and Transported" live cd/dvd.  Man, I LOVE that album!  Our family LOVES that album!
Toby Mac, Alive and Transported, live in Houston 2008. 

Our kids love the Song, I Don't Wanna Gain The Whole World (and lose my soul) and Catch the Fire (Ooooopsy Daisy)!  I love those songs as well as....well I just love ever song on there!  You gotta get it if ya can!  But I have two things I wanna say on this blog tonite that in a roundabout way have to do with this terrific album.

Number one: Boy, there are some lousy parents out there!  For some reason, maybe it was the 20+ hour, 2 day drive to Florida, but I thought alot about parenting.  And let me just say here and now, and many of you have heard me say it before, but I make plenty of mistakes.  I'm not saying I'm perfect; but, here are some of my complaints.
Worthless fathers.  What is with Dad's that just don't give a crap?  Again, I'm not taking any heat off worthless mothers too, but the fathers job is so important to kids.  I mean, God is our heavenly father.  Get it?  How can a kid that has an absent father learn to trust a man?  A father?  How can they truly learn to rely on God when their own flesh and blood father isn't there.  My Dad had plenty of excuses why he couldn't drive 4 hours to see me-even after we had driven all that way, so I speak from experience here.  My only saving grace was a Grand-dad whom helped raise us and four Uncles that influenced us in so many, many ways.  So, I was not surprised he made the choice he did.  But how about all these kids that have absent fathers? What are they to do?  What becomes of them?

Most people think of child support in monetary form.  I do not.  Child support, to me, is the Dad that is there for his kids.  You know the saying, "What's the best thing a Dad can do for his kid? Love his Mother."  Thats true.  But if for whatever worldly reason you can't love the Mama, by all means love that kid!  Be there for them!  Talk to them.  Care about them.  Anyone can be a sperm donor, but it takes someone special to be a daddy!  Surely you've heard that before.  Parent  those kids! 1 Timothy 5:8 says, "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 

And while I'm on a rant, I get real sick and tired of hearing about people, with kids especially, getting divorced because they "don't get along."  What?!  What if your son said he wasn't going to be a brother to your daughter anymore, because they "don't get along?"  Really? That dog don't hunt, does it?  Well neither does being a Dad by merely sending a monthly check. 

Kids that have an absent father are more likely to join gangs and engage in risky behavior.  Smoking.  Drinking.  Casual sex.  Are any of these anything you want for your young children??  Heck no!  Then tell me what kind of sense it makes for parents to split up and move states away.  What kind of sense does it make to tell your kids "they can come visit anytime!"  That makes me want to spit!

I also think that is why God wants us to have two parent families, a Mom and a Dad!  Mama's and Daddy's parent differently.  I know this for a fact. From a foster mom's perspective, if we foster mom's had our ways we would baby these babies and never teach adequate responsibility, because we'd be so busy feeling sorry for them!  And I'm not saying certain other options can't work.  My Mom was a wonderful single parent.  She had help.  My grandparents were right there, morning, noon and night.  I also know some wonderful single foster-mom's that foster babies.  They're perfect.  I just think we need both parents to do an effective job.  How can John learn to be a man from me?  Lol, he can't, believe me, the tomboy in me only goes so far!  How can Presley learn how a man should treat her, if David was absent?  Thank goodness for the hardworking and wonderful Daddy David is; even if he does overprotect Addy!  And even if he is not perfect.

The Focus on the Family website has an article on the subject called, "The Involved Father" by Glen Stanton.  Mr.  Stanton says that Daddy's parent differently, play differently (throwing youngins in the air), build confidence, communicate and discipline differently. 

The Bible is filled with references as to how a father is to behave. Deuteronomy 1:29-31 is clear and states that fathers should strive to be men of God, "Then I said to you, "Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place." (NIV) Protect your children.  Fight for your children.  Keep your eyes on your children.  This reminds me of the movie, Courageous.  A story about men of God. 

Psalm 103:13
As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; (NIV) Compassion, man, there's a word there.  Merriam Websters defines compassion as "sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it."  Isn't that what most parents want to do, is alleviate distress in our children?  I don't know how many times I've heard David tell our kids, he wants so much more for them.  More in ways of our world, our families and relationships, more knowledge, more everything.  Just more!

I could probably go on and on, and in fact I said early on, I had two points, so I guess I'll just blog later about my second subject and that was gonna be how many ways the Devil attempts to persecute us daily.  Satan comes in so many forms, friends, family, co-workers, etc.  How many times today, alone, did I find other Christians being made fun of or talked ill of.  Geez!  Christians aren't perfect.  We're just forgivven. 

I love that Toby Mac song, Catch the Fire and I've been a singin' it while I been a bloggin' but the one we rewind again and again and the one that even David loves (and like Minnie don't burn chicken, David don't do music) is When Love is in the House:

Love is in the house and the house is packed

So much so I left the back door cracked

Mama always said it's a matter of fact

that when love is in the house the house is packed

Check out Toby Mac at Tobymac.com

And I'll blog later about everone tryin' to bring us down!  "Haters spittin' vapors on my dreams!" -Toby Mac and I think that describes anyone trying to quench our fire for Jesus!

I know many of you kept our family in your prayers while we were gone and I thank y'all.  You kept us safe while the kids were boogie boardin' in the ocean with Aunt Amy and while we rode roller coasters at Disney World and while we traveled that long road 'tween here and there, thank you.
And thanks for reading!

Lola Philpott, An Arkansas Mom...you can take the girl outta Arkansas but you ain't gettin' Arkansas out the girl!

  

A favorite daddy-daughter moment for me; David just talking to Addy.

Presley, John and Addy, enjoying the surf and sun of Florida!

Searcy Lions Club for Adoption, Thanks for Having Me.

Mandy Heaton, Branch Manager of the Liberty Bank, Lowes Branch and me, Lola Philpott, at the Searcy Lions Club

On Tuesday I had the great honor to speak to the Searcy Lions Club.  That was pretty neat, since my sister is also a member!  I spoke about our Adoption Through Foster Care journey to many local bankers, businessmen and women and Harding University staff and professors.  I did my first ever Power Point presentation and started in the beginning when we had the unfortunate experience of a miscarriage early on, in 1999.  I used that example to also describe what it was like having a "failed adoption" with a boy we had hoped to adopt about 5 years ago.  When that too failed, it felt like "a miscarriage of the heart."  My point is, I've experienced them both and know the hurt and frustration and the heart break with each one. Miscarriage of any kind is like a death.  The end.  And it hurts. 

But I also talked about the joys of fostering and how that lead to two of our beautiful gifts from God, of course John and Addy.  And how we found the strength to continue our journey through Presley, our only biological child.  The child that prayed nonstop for a baby sister and an older brother, even though "the books" all warned us against going outside of birth order.  I guess Jesus forgot to read those books too, because he sure put John and Addy in our family for a reason! 

I enjoy speaking about this topic, obviously, because it is so important.  I just believe that foster kids deserve permanancy that adoption brings to not only a child, but a committed family as well.  I believe it is our christian duty to honor our Lord by taking care of these children that may feel the least in the eyes of society.  These kids didn't ask to be put in foster care and I say that a lot, but it's true and often forgotten.  Lots of people get caught up in stereotypes and forget the faces attatched to foster care.  So, I feel like it's my job, as a Christian, a Mother, an example to others, to take care of what God gives us as gifts...these kids.  Two of which are mine forever. 

I went over my allotted time a tad bit Tuesday, but I guess that was ok.  I do tend to be a little long winded, or I prefer the term, "passionate!"  Several people shared personal stories afterward and many hugged me with tears in their eyes, so I hope I touched people.  And again, I thank the Searcy Lions Club for the opportunity. 

I have been asked if I'd be interested in speaking to the Rotary Club in May and of course I said "YES!"  So, we'll see if that pans out.  I'll have to give the Readers Digest version, as I may only get half as much time to talk about something I could really go on for days about!

Also, Tuesday, John has his first track meet.  He is throwing shotput and discus and he wants to try the long jump at the next meet.  I'm so proud of him! He works out every morning with the football team, every afternoon with the track team and he still manages to make pretty good grades!  We have been so blessed by all 3 of our "gifts from God!"




Darvin Knight, Sales and Estimates and David taking care of paperwork.



On the business side of things, Spring is looking great!  We have 2 homes that can be ready to be moved into within 30 days, which is how long it would take to close anyway.  Two more in the construction stage and as soon as we begin building our personal home, the new house we built at the end of last year and moved into when we flipped our last house will be ready to be on the market and sold!  So we have lots of options for home buyers right now, from the $150's to the $225,000 range, we can fit your needs. Philpott Builders finally has an office, just off South Main street and we have been busy getting the office set up as well as both shop bays ready for the guys to work in.  The shops are heated and cooled which may spoil the guys as they're used to working in houses without those luxeries!  However, all this convienence should make us more efficient and more organized, thus, passing the savings onto the customers!  We are so looking forward to 2012.

One more thing about foster care before I forget.  We got a call for a 22 month old baby boy tonite and although we don't usually take the small ones, we decided it would be ok on this emergency basis-plus it was one of our favorite case workers!  So, we hung up the phone thinking that in just a few hours we have a little one running around again, even if only for a short time. 
We always let the kids have a say in the kids we take in; but since this was a baby and only temporary, we figured they'd be ok.  So, we pulled the kids together and told them we were getting a new todldler.  They were excited, especially the girls! Well we no sooner got the "news" out that we recieved another call saying DHS had found a more permanent foster home for this sweet boy and so he wouldn't be coming to afterall.  We were all disappointed.  But poor Addy....she got angry!  When you're 5, how else do you show confusion?  She said, "But Mama!! I don't understand!"  Bless her heart, so I had to explain how this little boy did need a family, but he needed what was best for him, not what was fun for us! I tried to explain that we were only going to be able to keep him a few days because of our schedules, but that another family could keep him much longer, if need be. She seemed ok with this and quickly moved onto play dough and singing songs. 

Found this on Facebook today and loved it.  See what a differene two small changes made?  Two.  The difference between life.  And death. 

Thanks for reading!                                                             
Lola Philpott